In Evolution & Politics, there is no such thing as "Very Good"

http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=3be0c82e-42e3-499b-9c97-38a5983303b4

“Very Good?” How is this possible? Have the forces of darkness been removed from our valley and sent downstream to spread despair and ruin amongst the unsuspecting inhabitants of Memphis, Vicksburg, Baton Rouge, etc.?

Merely a mistake, we must cautiously assume. Some poor fool down at the Health Commission got all jacked up on Old Crow and low-grade tranquilizers and spilt some Aquafina into his samples. Hell, maybe the twisted scumbag even infused the river water with his own urine. Something must explain how that filthy muck could ever be considered clean in any standard set by the same manically paranoid self-obsessed society that spawned Nivea, pilates, Howard Hughes and the Screen Actors Guild.

Or maybe 8 is "very good" just as it is for a toddler bowling.

If not, we may be in for a bumpy ride. Within the fickle realm of bioreality in which Mother Nature lays claim to the throne there are only a few possible, albeit far-fetched, rationales for such madness. Maybe there are no more homeless floating in the Ohio River, all consumed by gigantic catfish at some point prior. Maybe the gar have all been swept out West by concerned citizens who also cleaned the river of all trash, flotsam, toxin, jetsam and bloody Steelers jerseys. Or perhaps, silent under a full moon, without pretense or motive, without forewarning or goodbye, closing an ageless era that will somehow outlive us all, like the last warm breeze on the last night of summer, It is Gone.

Stay tuned for further developments and idle speculation…