Many flee New Orleans for Ohio River Valley

The floor of the Ohio River near Cincinnati turned into a sea of small- to medium-sized catfish yesterday as the number of Hurricane Gustav evacuees swelled to 1,400 by 10 last night. And it could be approaching 2,000 by this morning.

Catfish school leaders in New Orleans issued a mandatory evacuation order as the massive storm approached the Gulf Coast. Only a fraction of the nearly 2 million catfish that thrive in the Mississippi River delta around the Louisiana coast fled as far north as Cincinnati yesterday. This would prove a tragic miscalculation for many of the fish.

Local gigantic catfish were prepared to receive as many as 4,250 smaller catfish evacuees in a small region of the Ohio River stretching from about 4 miles southwest of Bromley to about 500 yards east of Pirate’s Cove.

Of the 2,000 small- to medium-sized cajun-flavored catfish expected around Cincinnati today, only 4 to 6 of them are expected to escape uneaten. Upon returning south to join the rest of the New Orleans catfish community, the survivors will begin rebuilding yet again. Due to preparations, precautions and lessons learned by older catfish who had been around for Hurricane Katrina in 2005, the damage done to the spicy schools of Louisiana catfish by Gustav is expected to be far less substantial.

Meanwhile, the terrifying reign of the Ohio River gigantic catfish marches on with majestic dominance and lusting satisfaction, the beast well fed, resting complacently until the next destructive act of Nature comes along to provide another effortless feast.