If you were one of the 742 Twitter followers of @ohioriverseabeast30ft, please know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was not the real gigantic catfish. It appears the whole thing was a hoax. The 30-foot catfish we search for has not been tweeting, at least thus far. The updates you thought you were receiving from the monster were trick twits, not sweet tweets.
No one is sure who perpetrated the shell account, but due to Twitter’s terms of service (and as proven by the unfortunate legal shenanigans of Tony LaRussa and others) no action can be taken against the online networking site.
The @ohioriverseabeast30ft account was established about two months ago, registered to username “Gigantic Catfish,” and set up as a follower of @CincinnatiReds, @OGOchoCinco, @algore, and @mileycyrus, among others. A recent screenshot of the fake page, taken just before the account was shut down, indicated the following updates:
Gonna eat me some dinner, hopin for homeless folk, settle for they trash, mmm alligator gar haha :)- 7:17 PM June 30th from web
Tryin to swim, muds lookin goooooood, might grab a catnap (lol), catch ya 2morro 8:04 PM June 25th from text
All them hatas shut it, this ain’t the Missoura this the Ohio I’ll eat yo ass whole child please 11:43 AM June 19th from web
Beautiful day at the bottom of the river. Plenty of food. 187th birthday coming up, don’t look a day over 150. Life = good. 2:21 PM June 16th from text
Since these tweets were all fictitious, the object of our quest remains at this time elusive beyond the grasp even of our Information Age. At this time it remains uncertain whether the mythical gigantic catfish would ever consider using Twitter, or if it even has internet access or texting capabilities.
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