• The cold breath of winter has silenced gigantic catfish hunting and Ohio River deep sea exploration for another season. Like so many dinner victims, however, it will not be long for this world.
• The enemies of science and progress have been eerily quiet of late.
• A lack of widespread sport-related hostility or natural disasters has probably left the seabeast bored and listless the past few weeks. We must only assume he lay in wait.
• A 24-man task force employed by Fatburger embarked on their own greed-fueled quest for gigantic catfish on the morning of October 13. There were no survivors.
• Parts of the river will freeze for winter, entombing thousands of small fish and homeless. Large catfish, more than capable of breaking through any amount of ice, reserve their power for emergencies.
• All federal funding for river catfishing expeditions has been suspended. Lame duck President Bush has not prioritized the initiative among the top concerns of his final weeks in Office. Some hope that the incoming administration will be more sensitive to the importance of our mission.
• Novelist Cilantro Abernathy has mysteriously disappeared. For a time struggling to find a publisher for Strange Tales of the Ohio Catfishermen, he has now simply vanished.
• This year’s Ohio River Catfish Society holiday party has been cancelled due to consensus grumpiness.
• Deep below in the dark muck the Beast survives yet.
• Keep the Dream afloat.
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